The Mind Nomadic

hopscotch

2012-02-01T15:14:00.000Z

today is a fine, sunshine filled scottish day. on days such as this my smoke breaks are a lot more enjoyable. instead of cowering in whatever slighty dry sanctuary i am able to find, shoulders hunched against the wind blown drizzle...
on a day like today i seek out the open, the sun drenched, intent on soaking in my fair share of vitamin D and charging up my solar powered wrist watch.
whilst wandering i spotted a flat stone which for reasons known only to my sub concious, brought to my mind - hopscotch.
do kids still play hopscotch?
why was it called hopscotch? did the game originate in scotland?
i then spent several futile minutes attempting to remember how the game was played. i also attempted to hop, first on my right foot and then on my left foot. not as easy as my memory assured me it should be!
having provided the fellow residents of my apartment block with sufficient entertainment for the day i ground out my cigarette and ambled upstairs to my trusty lap top.
how did we manage before the internet?
i found the rules of hopscotch, a photograph of children playing the game in cuba where it is called pon and even a video "how to play hopscotch".
perhaps the local school children no longer actually play hopscotch? however, the game is not lost to history.
What a relief!

winter warmth in other ways

2011-12-22T10:27:00.000Z

ahah ! bit of excitement in the over sixties community where i reside. wall cavity filling ... indeed!

many holes being drilled, noisily.
many workmen in overalls wielding the instruments required for wall cavity filling.
i guess i will be privileged to be even warmer than i already am. scotland can be cold but mostly we have this blanket of cloud cover to keep us moderately warmer than those who exist under clearer skies than ours.

still, i am reliably informed that i will save on heating costs and considering they are executing the procedure on the outer walls of my apartment for free. solely due i believe, to my somewhat impecunious circumstances, well, who am i to say them nay!

sunday, day seven

2011-11-20T08:59:00.000Z

and i realize that i am somewhat neglectful when it comes to this particular blog. perhaps my mind is less nomadic than it once was?

no matter, it is indeed sunday, day seven. giving up smoking is one of my somewhat more irregular activities. i give up smoking for one reason only - money. unfortunately, i need the money i spend on cigarettes to do other things.
given a perfect (for me) world in which my bank account held sufficient funds for the varied and interesting uses i have for money ...
well, i would smoke till i choked!
yeah, yeah, i know, how bad it is for human beings to suck in carcinogen filled smoke into their lungs.
i am also fully aware of how bad us smokers smell to the smoke innocent world.
damn, of course i do, how many day sevens have i lived through!
by day seven i can sniff a smoker at fifty yards.

giving up smoking always seems like a good idea at the time. naturally the amount of time for which it seems like a good idea varies.
i have smoked since i was sixteen, that would be - not the recent past! i like smoking and i find it a comfort - who knows why. the addiction of the body is fairly easy to beat. the addiction of the mind is another matter altogether!

2011-11-17T21:57:00.000Z

happy birthday

2011-11-09T21:44:00.000Z

never forgotten
in my heart, always ...

the bravehearts

2011-11-04T00:17:00.000Z

the sea mist rolls across the irish sea
meandering,methodical and magical
our ailsa rises shrouded from the sea bed
dignified in delicately encroaching darkness
the solitary flashing lighthouse light
a warning or a beckoning bewitching beacon
calling the far away heart to come home
to rise to the inspiration of scotland's call
the wailing bag pipe sounds of blood and history
reminding those far travelled to distant lands
of hearth and home, of highlands and heather
the beauty of her, the enchantment, carried within
the generations lost to the lure of adventure
the exploration of far away places
excitingly exotic, enchanting the bravehearts
who carry within, the memory of a green land
grey days and beating rain, hot broth and baking bread
stone walls, two feet thick, our armour against nature
blessed spring sunshine, lovingly embracing green hills
where the nodding blooms of daffodils
burst vibrant sunshine yellow, scattered by the hand of God
the golden yellow stain of gorse, seeps and slides
across the hills of ayrshire, lighting the landscape
a promise of the pulse of summer, whispering
come home stranger, come home from outwith
breathe once more the hawthorne and the heather
soar with the eagles, follow the call of your blood
home to scotland's green shores and the pride of your history

Copyright © 2011 by Eryll Oellermann

tortoise trouble

2011-11-01T14:13:00.000Z

wolfpack

2011-10-31T19:55:00.000Z

follow the leader ...

is peace possible?

2011-09-18T21:51:00.000+01:00

has this chaotic world of ours ever truly experienced peace?

we, humanity, are we capable of living in peace with one another? on the evidence produced thus far i would have to say ... "no"!

fight or flight is the way we are programmed to react. as groups, tribes, nations, we tend to fight! this is the programming which has helped us to survive and elevated us to the pinnacle of the food chain.

time to reprogramme! it will not be easy, it will not be soon, it will take the concerted effort of many.

every small step will count. every child who is encouraged in kindness and taught to respect, instead of fear, the differences between us will weigh in on the side of peace.

we fight because in our arrogance we believe ourselves to be better, superior, right. if you differ from me in opinion, sexual orientation, religion ... the list is endless. why then, you must be wrong because... i am right.

we have to learn that 'i am right' does not equal 'you are wrong'. we need to become 'we'. we differ, we are different, we will learn from one another and we will eventually come to understand that there are a multitude of ways in which to be 'right'.

hopefully in the far distant future war will become a forgotten concept.
no more will we send our sons and daughters to die on the blood soaked fields of war in order that the views of those who triumph may be written into history ... 'i was right'.

there is no rightness in death and suffering.

2011-07-24T21:07:00.003+01:00

"Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it you can never get it back."
~Harvey MacKay

resurrection

2011-07-09T16:42:00.000+01:00

the train slides past
glasgow central the sign says
here and gone
on a journey to elsewhere
the trees which shield the line
summer green on their away side
buffeted and brown
from where i stand, blowing smoke
and contemplating
the wind blew day after day
from the north
she blew harsh and insistent
the wind blew until
the then spring green turned
brown, dry and dead
why ...
was it the icelandic ash
carried through the air
driven into their living cells
or perhaps the sheer persistence
of wind force
and the trees stood
half living, half dead
when the wind stopped
i watched and wondered
resurrection
the weeks passed
next to, in between and above
the death dry leaves
mother nature pouted
and produced small swellings
which burst and unfurl
a summer growth of spring green
soon the green will hide the brown
birth will mask death
life, a study in resurrection

Copyright © 2011 by Eryll Oellermann

friend of a friend

2011-05-15T21:16:00.000+01:00

"a stranger's just a friend you do not know!"

swans swimming

2011-05-08T20:52:00.000+01:00

the mouth of the river doon, ayr.

2011-04-25T07:09:00.001+01:00

"Everything has it's beauty, but not everyone sees it"

-Confucius

life

2011-03-29T08:51:00.000+01:00

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up,
totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!" ~ Unknown

thanks to hahn for the reminder!

super moon

2011-03-17T20:40:00.000Z

19th march 2011 - super moon ... something for a wolf to howl for!

the softening

2011-02-23T11:02:00.000Z

the long dark is softening ... preparing for her summer holiday?
perhaps she finds this whole dank, cold winter thing as tiresome at times as we do.
she might well be thinking ... "i am well pleased to see the back of you lot till next autumn."
of course, her sibling, the short dark will still be with us. fighting for his place on these far northern shores. he is still a learner, a young dark incapable of keeping the light at bay except for a few hours close to midnight.
soon, soon, the drawn out golden days, reluctant to leave.
sitting on the porch, chair tipped back, boots up resting on the railing, watching the long day die in an unimaginable blaze of red and gold behind ailsa craig.
we see and feel the magic of the long light through wisdom gained during the long dark.
the dark and the light, twin souls, spinning through time.

2011-02-20T20:43:00.003Z

the fox in the sun

2011-02-10T15:32:00.000Z

i came home today ... to troon, been away for a while. awoke to sunshine and on the drive over only the woods were still hiding amidst a light mist veil.

my daughter and two of my youngest grandchildren came over for lunch. it was my daughter who spotted the fox!
i had not seen the fox in so long i had almost given up on him. i believe the sighting of 'my' fox is an omen for me. a message from beyond, portending some shift in the focus of my life!

well, today's message must be a biggie! the fox is sitting next to the railway line, right opposite my kitchen window, he has been there for hours. a train just rolled past and i was sure he would have taken off for some safer less public place ...
but, no - he is still there enjoying the warmth of the sunshine. to give him his due, he has moved a foot or so further away from the actual line.
yeah, he may well be a mystical fox but, ain't nobody claiming this boy is lacking in commonsense!

under the crescent moon, or ... the death of a seagull

2011-01-18T07:49:00.000Z

dating the animal doctor has changed my life in more ways than one. in scotland a vetinary surgeon is bound to offer a twenty four hour emergency service. result - the phone will ring in the small wee hours and my girl will roll out of bed and be on her way to tend to the sick and injured of the animal world.

one evening, fairly soon after we first met, we were on our way home from an outing. her phone rang, on the other end, a gentleman who had found a seagull with a broken wing, as she was not home he had put the bird in her front garden!
yeah, i guess you can tell, the animal doctor is a village dweller - what can i say!

we were thankful that 'the boys' were safely ensconced in the house and that the seagull would at least have been spared the indignity of being eaten by a hound dog!
the winter dark was with us, a crescent moon rode high in a clear and frosty sky. my girl aimed her car lights into the darkness of the garden and turned to me ...

"will you lend me a hand?"

wtf! i am a happily retired flat dweller sans pets. i hardly know this woman and she is expecting me to rummage around in the dark cold and actually capture a seagull! cool as a cucumber i said ...

"yeah sure, of course."

it took us a little while to find and lay our hands on mr.seagull, the wing was so badly broken there would be no fixing it.
so on a dark winter evening under the light of a crescent moon, i held the seagull immobile whilst my new friend administered death to replace pain.

ice is nice

2011-01-10T22:08:00.000Z

recently scotland has been a wee bit colder than normal.
traffic on the bridge over the river ayr was really slow. i did wonder why... and then i saw THE ICE!
i was so happy when i found this video on you tube, enjoy!

wordless

2011-01-05T02:38:00.000Z

wordless

tonight the hours creep by undisturbed
by sleep
there was a time when unwritten words
might wake me
buzzing in my night time brain
begging to be penned
no more, fine words no longer my excuse
for insomnia
for that once unrelenting fountainhead
of inspiration
lies neglected, dry as the desert sands
devoid, desperate
struck down and bled strangely dry
by writer's block
a humiliating state of self indulgent lack for the wordspinner
left wordless

Copyright © 2004-2011 by Eryll Oellermann

a learning experience

2010-12-05T05:57:00.001Z

like it or not ...
life is a learning experience!

recently a very dear person, a person i love and whose opinion i respect ...
mentioned "the three fold law".

life sends us reminders, i read and i remembered.
what did i remember ... that which we all know but so often forget.
allow me to share ...

and i quote -

" The Three-Fold Law - Punishment Or Gift?

You can blame the gods, you can blame someone else, you can blame anything and everyone, you can even
blame yourself . . .

The thing is, blaming isn't going to get you anywhere. Because
the issue isn't who's at fault and who gets punished. It's
what you can learn.

Each time the unpleasant situation arises, the Divine is
asking you . . .

"Here, would you like to be free of this miserable thing yet?"

Each time, you're offered the opportunity to notice how you're
hurting yourself (not to mention other people, the Earth, and
the gods and goddesses). Each time, you are given the
opportunity to make another choice.

Karma in Wiccan law is an offering of healing.

Beware The Seeds You Plant
Every choice you make plants seeds for the future.

Whether you plant sweet juicy crops or bitter stinging weeds
is entirely up to you. That's the gift of free will.

But whatever you sow, you will reap. Unavoidably. Every choice,
every action, every thought bears fruit.

And since the "fruit" is inside you, you can't escape reaping
it. The most you can do, perhaps, is delay.

Poison Fruit
And these choices are not merely in the physical realm. It's
not as simple as you hit someone and they hit you back.

When you cherish a grudge or resentment in your heart - even
if it's never expressed - you are feeding yourself poison.

Every uncharitable thought has real repercussions… in your
physical and mental health, and in the world.

Do You Have To Change?
That is why the great sages say, as Gandhi did, that you must
be the change you want to see in the world. There is no other
way.

Regardless of whether the world around you is peaceful, you
will never see that peace, unless you have a peaceful heart.

And without peace in your heart, how could you ever create it
around you? That's like trying to bake bread without any flour.

This is fundamental to Wiccan philosophy - nothing is lost. It
all comes back around.

If you want a peaceful, loving world, it starts in your heart.
Your heart! - and mine, of course, and everyone's. But your
heart
is the only one you have influence over.

The Magic Of The Three-Fold Law
And the wondrous gift of the Three-Fold Law is that

    * one little thought of compassion,

    * one little act of kindness,

    * one little choice for forgiveness . . .

multiplies!

And keeps multiplying, as the ripples spread out to infinity,
and back again."

"beyond time"

2010-11-22T11:54:00.002Z

oh wow, oh wow, oh wow!

knock on the door ... rat-a-tat-tat.
special delivery...

"beyond time"

absolutely friggin' perfect. a real book, a real poetry book,
hard cover with shiny printed pages!

the word smith is without words ...

strength

2010-11-19T21:44:00.000Z

"Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands, and then eat just one of those pieces."

~Judith Viorst

damn! who would have guessed? thanks for passing this on mike!

situational silence

2010-11-15T07:01:00.001Z

there is no true silence to be found
on this, our beloved planet
we are surrounded by the hum of nature
and the cacophony of sound
created by our invasive humanity
yet silence waits to be discovered
hidden in the hours of alone
we acknowledge silence in the missing

Copyright © 2004-2010 by Eryll Oellermann

happy birthday sweetheart

2010-11-10T10:36:00.001Z

cheers baby!

sixty nine! today my beloved mann would have turned sixty nine ... forever young.

mmmmm... i love me some x factor

2010-11-07T11:58:00.001Z

Matt Cardle sings The First Time (Ever I Saw Your Face) - The X Factor

"dona nobis pacem"

2010-11-04T16:22:00.001Z

what is peace?

peace is as elusive as faith.

where will we find peace ... in an absence of anger?

perhaps if we ...

decline the opportunity to feel righteous rage,

allow ourselves to experience gratitude without boundaries.

find the time and desire to reach out, extend a helping hand,
offer our strength, our focus, ourselves.

fall in love with our earth in all her many forms and her
completeness.

realize that we are no better nor worse, no more
talented or useful than a single grain of sand or blade of
grass.

repudiate our selfish sense of superiority.

understand that we are nothing more than an equal part of the
whole.

respect the comforts and needs of others. protect the weak.
shelter the young and the elderly.

learn to listen rather than be heard.

practice love without ego.

find the wisdom to understand that i am nothing if i am not
everything.

remember that an enemy is only another aspect of the light
within us. refuse to see the darkness, search instead for
the goodness, the loving, pure life energy.

peace may be an impossible dream.

there is no more worthy quest.

so i lied!

2010-11-03T07:24:00.001Z

i am totally unable to leave my beloved blogs unattended. perhaps i will write less often, perhaps i won't write at all.
who knows the future, who understands tomorrow ...
life is what it is, an adventure into the unknown, an experience of the now.

time to move on ...

2010-10-24T15:51:00.000+01:00

there is a season for all things. a time for all truth.
one designated day in the life of me myself when ...
i have to say ... "i heard the fat lady sing!"

the sun may shine, the wind might blow, in all probability
(given the small corner of our beloved planet on which i pitch
my tent)rain will fall.
one thing will not change, sugar and the wolf are no more.

yesterday is the past, a time to be cherished in memory alone.

i joined pinksofa, i paid my fees, i read profiles, sent smiles
and winks, i have chatted and called, teased and flirted.
i have even dated, in a some what desultory manner.
my heart has not been in it. enough already...i
spent six years loving and tormenting herself. time to admit
the obvious, it is over.

today is the first day of the rest of my life!

i will be closing down 'the mind nomadic' and 'the unfolding
enigma'. they have had their time and enjoyed their space.

i have need of a new space. a different time and place in which
to journal the trials and tribulations, the excitements and
anticipations of the wolf. i seek the freedom to whine about the
old and exclaim over the new.

if you wish to continue to follow the path of the wolf - email
me or find me on facebook, i have a new blog as yet undisturbed
by my tales, thoughts, theories, conjectures and downright
lies!soon enough i will find those pristine pages irresistible
and the words will come.

in the mean time, thank you my friends and readers. thank you
for reading, commenting, consoling. thank you for listening
to the words which grow in the heart of the wolf.

it gets better - Anna in Ontario.wmv

2010-10-18T15:19:00.000+01:00

Mary Byrne X Factor Sings Dusty Springfield You Don't Have to Say You Lo...

2010-10-16T22:08:00.000+01:00

the gift

2010-10-11T10:44:00.003+01:00

on saturday G was gifted a new heart! his old one was kaput.
the new heart started all by itself as soon as it
was connected!

what a gift, the gift of life. it is impossible to describe our
sense of gratitude to the donor and his family.
thank you, thank you.

of course it is still early days ...
but now, G has a wonderful chance, a strong and healthy heart.

love never dies

2010-10-06T20:41:00.000+01:00

10.11.1941 - 06.10.2002
Manfred Walter Oellermann

a beautiful man. to be continued...

time together

2010-10-01T14:28:00.001+01:00

bonnie scotland - i am home and once more alone.

one month in south africa with pj's fairly constant company
and now ... just me!

amazing how quickly one becomes used to companionship and how
lost one feels when back in the singular.

ah well, i will just have to relearn the pleasures of the selfish,
single life!

perhaps i am a little sad today. why today in particular...
because today the mann and i would have celebrated our 44th
wedding anniversary.
he would have made us a smashing english breakfast. perhaps
we would have taken a drive down the coast, stopped at an
old beach hotel and sat on a shady verandah, overlooking the
sea. he would have poured his amstel into a glass, the mann was
civilized, me ... i would have swigged my savannah straight
from the bottle.

one of our favourite places to relax and lunch was the
venture inn at umtentweni. a delightfully quaint and
old fashioned hotel, it had fabulous views, a good menu
and reasonable prices. i loved their ribs and chips and
learned to appreciate the wonders of tripe and onions
served with mashed potato.

it is almost eight years since he lost his battle with cancer.
i have grown used to living without him and yet ...
i still miss his company, his sense of humour, his searingly
brilliant mind. i miss the comfort of his arms, the roughness
of his beard against my cheek.

his love was a precious gift. thank you manfred!

a reason to celebrate

2010-09-05T05:25:00.000+01:00

yesterday morning G came off the respirator!
by afternoon visiting he was talking and demanding tea.

some days are coloured golden!

i hear the hadida

2010-08-30T06:32:00.000+01:00

i am home, under the african sun. surrounded by the familar, the voices of my people, the sights and scents of south african spring.

i did not expect to be here, i expected to be watching summer fade from my ayrshire window.

the unexpected has brought me here, here where i need to be at this time.

our dear g, my son's partner, soul mate, life love ...
suffered a massive heart attack last tuesday.

we have to wait now, while machines monitor his body and time accomplishes her healing. there are no guarantees, there is hope and love, belief in his strength and his will to live.

yay!! i am a non smoker!!

2010-08-24T07:29:00.000+01:00

as of yesterday, round about 2.00pm, i am a happy non smoker.

many thanks to allen carr author of "the only way to stop
smoking permanently".

my south african son sent me "the book" - quite a while ago...
actually ...

i finally felt driven to read the damn thing. took my time,
puffing away as instructed, inhaling,exhaling, happy as only a
true addict can be when offered licence to indulge.
no need to stop until i have read the book.
never have i read a book so slowly.
somehow, along the long slow way ...
what the man said started to make sense!

my problem with "giving up" the nicotine habit, was always ...
the empty feeling of loss and deprivation.
i would never have imagined that it might just be possible to
be a HAPPY NON SMOKER!

if this blog sounds like an advert, my apologies. i have found
the way to free myself from my nicotine addiction and it
would be downright selfish on my part if i neglected to share
the happy news.

there is no need for me to write of my withdrawal torment. no
need to count the days and weeks of abstinence i have won through
willpower.it requires no willpower to become a happy ex smoker.
thank you allen carr.
i have smoked my final cigarette, i am free!

one small cloud

2010-06-16T07:51:00.000+01:00

some days start perfectly
the sun shines
the birds twitter
they were doing it
before we ever were
and then
one small cloud
appears on the not so far
horizon
my hair is silver
or to define the colour
in a less than romantic way
salt and pepper
my eyebrows dark
until today
one white eyebrow hair
now youth has fled
leaving me bereft
my mind a circle of memories
and mourning
i plucked the fucker out

Copyright © 2004-2010 by Eryll Oellermann

sunrise

2010-03-07T08:18:00.001Z

i watched the sun rise this morning, from the first faint
pinkish glow until my eyes burned.
the trees still stand stark and leafless, silhouetted against
the sky. from a distance winter architecture dominates, a
closer look reveals budding and bursting. new life
in abundance.

this year i will turn sixty two. sixty was a big deal for me!
one can hardly deny one's mortality when offered a free bus
pass!

i am an eternal child, steeped in the wonders of what if
and why? impatience and impulsiveness are my guides.
the careful remind me that we are not all the same, that it is
far more adult to consider, calculate and research one's life
options before diving in at the deep end.
i have named my new second hand car prudence, as for the
rest of my slightly wayward existence ...
each day is an another chance to breathe deep the wonders of life.
to experience the outcome of impulse - good, bad or
indifferent.

perhaps my life attitude was affected by my tango with cancer
at the tender age of forty six. the cancer was a shock, the
chemo shook me to my very core. at that time, in my certain
knowledge, people who had to endure chemo usually died.
a glass barrier fell into place, i lived in a muffled world of
my own, able to look out but separated from the still healthy
by the shocking knowledge of my own mortality.

time becomes wealth, denying any experience - a wasted
possibility, a small death. through anticipated loss i learned
the value of living.

today i am healthy, my body strong and reliable.i live in the
world and hear the familiar hum of our humanity.
time heals but i am changed. for me, each breath is a gift,
no moment should be wasted, tomorrow is no longer inevitable.

a song of freedom

2010-02-26T00:43:00.000Z

"sing me a song of freedom" she cried, her voice rang out
across the valley.

the wolf lifted his head just a little.

she climbed a little higher and stood, arms raised in
supplication to the sun goddess.
the wind danced with her long sun kissed hair as
this particular day travelled the well worn path.

in the forest below, a shadow changed. dappled sunlight
waltzed with the damp brown earth. decomposition, the sweet
stench.

thump, thump, wolf paw thudding earthwards, claws in search
of an irritation, an escaping itch.

"write me a song" she pleaded "let me hear the lyrics
of your love, in the music i must feel the rhythm of
your heartbeat."

the high hills listened and were silent.

global warming?

2010-02-19T16:25:00.000Z

scotland can be a pretty dreary place at times, plenty of
grey skies, plenty of rain.
but, for the last couple of days my small spot has enjoyed
blue, cloudless skies.
there is a welcome warmth in the air, crocus plants
are pushing blue tipped buds through the soil.
folks are out and about, faces lifted to the warm sun.
seasonal magic!

when i first moved to troon i was a little concerned. my wee
apartment is in an 'over sixties' complex. i had a picture of
my self surrounded by a bunch of ancient fuddy duddies.
hah! one of the older owners is a lady of ninety five, she
still drives ... very well i am reliably informed.
when we are blessed with clear skies at this time of the year,
we are cursed with frost and ice coated windscreens.

a few mornings ago i was out in the garden smoking - yeah,
forgot to tell you, i fell off the nicotine wagon! if you
need to hear the excuses ...

1) the stress of moving.
2) crashing my lady rav.
3) breaking up with herself.

enough already, i am just another addict.

so there i was, 9.30 in the morning, freezing my arse off
and wishing i had never surrendered to the cursed weed.
and there is my ninety five year old neighbour, scraping the
ice off her windscreen.
what an inspiration.

mind you, the very thought that in thirty five years time i
might still be having to de-ice windscreens?
maybe that global warming scenario is not as scary as it
sounds.

uhuh ...

2010-02-15T16:54:00.000Z

it's me again. just could not keep away! a new blog does
not necessarily mean i have to shut down the mind nomadic and
the unfolding enigma.
took me a while to realize that!
logic won in the end ...

until we meet again

2010-02-12T08:26:00.002Z

friday 12th february - two months exactly since i left my wee village and took up residence in an actual town. quite an eventful two months it has been! wrote off my beloved lady rav, accepted the impossibility of my relationship with herself, finally had my foot fixed.
2010 has possibilities, in march my youngest will visit from south africa. in june i will be spending two weeks with a group of lesbian friends on the island of minorca.

i breathe, spring is in the air, my heart quickens at the signs of new life. the first shoots breaking through the winter empty ground. branches, once desolate, burst with buds, round and plump with new life.our scottish sun rises a little earlier, sets a little later and i feel the warmth of her.

a time of change.
i need a new voice, a new page upon which to write my truth.
on these pages i have grown stale and careful.

dear friends and readers, i will of course continue to follow your blogs!

i will leave the mind nomadic and the unfolding enigma as and where they are. a small history for myself. does anyone remember designated writer? still out there, deserted but inviolate!
from time to time, i will continue to publish some of my poetry on wordspinner

until we meet again.
namaste

expref=next-blog

2010-02-10T14:40:00.000Z

what is it with this 'next-blog' story? does anyone know?

all of a sudden a week or so back my stats on the mind
nomadic started to rise.
i did not take much notice, just thought ... "thats nice".
until the day i had 200, yep 200 visitors to my little
blog in one day. at which stage i thought ... "that's weird!"

so, i started checking out the stats on my other blogs,
no new action, only my few faithful followers. which
made me think ... "that is effin' strange!"

i returned to the stats page for the mind nomadic
and noticed that although an absolute orgy of people
from all over the world were passing through ...
only a few were actually stopping long enough to read.

had my blog entered a twilight zone of blog grazers, one
bite and they are out of there?
i checked a little more carefully and found that these alien
grazers all came referred via "next-blog".
hmmmm ... i googled 'next blog'. it would appear to refer
only to the next blog button at the top of the blog page.
i was riveted, i had never pushed that damn button! so, i did.
indeed one seems to move from one unrelated and unknown blog
to another.
which might explain how my blog is suddenly so well visited.
question - why did my figures leap within such a small space of
time and why are these 'next-blog' folk not arriving on my
other two blogs?

is there anybody out there with an explanation?

Faoilleach, the Wolf-month

2010-02-02T08:29:00.000Z

yesterday, one of my favourite bloggers - camlin, of camlin's
crooked line threw down the gauntlet.
a poetry challenge!
camlin was discussing Imbolc and Brighid, the goddess fire and
forge, of healing and poetry. now, i have no pagan connection
and curiosity sent me in search of information. I discovered
that this time of the year was known as Faoilleach, the wolf
month. naturally this knowledge intrigued my wolfish heart!

unfortunately the wolf in scotland long ago became extinct. there
is now an effort being made to reintroduce them in certain parts
of the highlands. unfortunately there will be fences, they will
not be entirely free. however, for those of us who hold the wolf
close to our hearts...
we will, once more, have the opportunity to hear their voice.
to know they prowl the wilderness which was once theirs.

i dedicate this song to my dear friend xan, the hawk. she who knows and shares a wild heart.

Faoilleach, the Wolf-month

once,when they were few
scratching at the blessed soil
for sustenance
crouching round fire
in draughty shelters
as the dark time
enshrouded the land
i was free to roam

free to run and hunt
following the deer trails
silent in the winter white
the mountain and the glen
were my own kingdom
no need to fear
the eye and arm of humanity
held prisoner by the season

their numbers increased
they staked claim to more
of the sacred earth
unprepared to share
they drove us ever further
until at last
we ceased to howl and hunt
man ruled

yet still, when the wind bites
when the snow flurries and drifts
when man seeks shelter
from the season's seeping chill
my spirit roams the hills and glens
for those who have the ears to hear
my voice once more reverberates
across the lost wilderness

Copyright © 2010 by Eryll Oellermann

sulful?

2010-01-29T16:12:00.003Z

i really enjoy word verification! today i was gifted 'sulful'...
full of sullenness? like the opposite of soulful?

yesterday was fun, the district nurse popped in to change
my dressing. man! this country is so damn civilized ...
when you leave the hospital they give you a letter for the
district nurse and explain when she will visit and what she
will do. and then ... she actually arrives, oy, home was never
like this!
so i managed to take a peek at 'the' wound. well ... i was
pretty darn impressed, the cut is at least two inches long
and my foot is all the colours of the rainbow. unfortunately
i neglected to ask how many stitches there were.

the nurse had only just left when the doorbell rang.
a parcel delivery, a huge box, looked like it might contain a
fridge. i stepped back and muttered ...
"nope, don't think that can be for me."
mr delivery pointed out my name and insisted i sign.
he then turned on his heel and belted off down the stairs.
leaving me wondering how the dickens i was going to carry
the huge box into my tiny flat.
turns out it was light as a feather and when i opened it up,
a bouquet of balloons came bursting out! seems peter, my
youngest (still resident in south africa) felt his mommy was
deserving of a really big bunch of balloons!must admit -
they made my day.

so here we are, friday already. next friday i have my stitches
removed, a couple more weeks and i will be driving, dancing,
going to gym. well ... maybe the going to gym bit is a
teeny exaggeration!

the wonders of day surgery

2010-01-27T22:51:00.003Z

in the beginning ...
july 2008 to be more accurate, i
had a problem with my foot.

monday, january 25th, 2010 i was admitted to ayr hospital...
yeah, yeah ... these things take time!
purpose of visit - dowel fusion left second metatarsal. day
surgery, no big deal, they would have allowed me home the same
evening if only my den came equiped with a caring she wolf!

as i am a live alone type, i was instructed to stay over and
await release on the tuesday morning. i did try to explain that
i live in an 'over 60's' retirement complex which comes equiped
with emergency pull cords and a warden. my pleas went unheard,
without an adult at home to keep an eye on my still slightly
anaesthetized self - no escape.

i was terrified ... naturally!
there were wild stories of removing bone from my hip to use
in the foot repair. i imagined myself awaking to a left side
completely immobilised in a plaster cast. i silently cursed the
idiot doctors who had not bothered to send me for an xray
in the first instance thus leading to years of pain,limping,
mri's and now ... effing surgery.
hah!

however, the sheets were clean and the nurses both attractive
and attentive. i decided 'all is exactly as it should be'.
i submitted to the needle and departed for where ever it is
we go whilst under an anaesthetic.
i awoke with a mask over my face, the cool trickle of oxygen
keeping my usual claustrophobia at bay. no pain! the
anaesthetist removed the mask and muttered something about ...
"the surgeon did not have to take bone from your hip", before
he rushed off to his next patient.

i woke up again in the ward, thirsty and hungry, i could smell
dinner! the 25th is rabbie burns night and i was sure they
would offer us poor patients a wee plate of haggis,
neeps and tatties.unfortunately we would have to forego the
obligatory wee dram due to our rather delicate state as post
operative patients... sigh ...

nurse
"are you thirsty, would you like a drink?"

me
"uhuh" glug, glug ...

nurse
"now i know you can smell food but it is too
soon for you to eat".

me (thinks)
"sez who?"

nurse
"not to worry, i will keep you a plate, or make you a nice
sandwich when you are ready".

hah ...
man, those people will say anything to keep a patient quiet!

i spent almost twenty four hours in the day surgery ward and
the only thing to pass my lips was toast and coffee. i suppose
the evening meal was a matter of bad timing but i made sure
i would be offered a grand scottish breakfast to make up for
the inhospitable hospitality of the previous night. not a
chance! come breakfast time i was asked if i would like one
slice of toast or two. let me tell you good people, those
hospital slices are so skinny ... two hardly equals one ...
if you know what i mean!

as to my foot, no pain, no plaster, just a big bulky bandage
and one of those really stylish blue shoes to hold my foot
together.all in all, not nearly as scary as i had imagined.

as i sat in the lounge, gnawing away at my very thin slices
of toast, i fell into conversation with two of my fellow
patients.the lady to my left had her gall bladder removed
and the lady to my right had varicose veins removed from
BOTH legs!i stared at them in disbelief ...

"you had these ops yesterday and you are going home today?"

indeed!

i am starting to feel my age. back in the day ... if the
medical fraternity touched you with intent you spent days
tucked up in bed, on a spotless ward with a stream of
visitors bringing flowers and chocolates.

the wonders of day surgery!

the white stuff

2010-01-05T05:47:00.001Z

woke up to a very white world this morning, (very early morning ...
i might add!)white and quiet.
now i am very fond of the white stuff, far as i am concerned we
don't have enough of it in my part of ayrshire. of
course, travel a few miles inland and we might well find
ourselves stranded waist deep in snow!
however ...
this year our weather is said to be blowing in from siberia!
don't ya just love it when that happens?
retirement is great, no need to go out and fight the ice,
no need to pretend that my driving skills are up to snow
sliding.
except for today...
i lost my beloved lady rav, well actually ... less lost and
more destroyed would be closer to the truth.
and that is another story ...
so i have been driving (or not) a hire car for the past week.
today is the day i am due to return her to the rental guys in
kilmarnock. oy!
everything is covered with the white stuff!
for pete's sake ... i was born in africa, we do dust not
frozen water.

of troon

2009-12-28T09:22:00.003Z

and so i came to
troon
to live astride a railway line
or so it felt
when rushing trains
made haste to or from
another place
further up
or down
the line
the sea birds still hovered
overhead
and mournful cried
of weather less
than perfect
with streets frost white
the naked trees
flaunt gnarled skeletons
against the winter skyline
in the evening dark
a distant fog horn calls
across the misted waters
of the far harbour

Copyright © 2009 by Eryll Oellermann

fat and frumpy

2009-11-25T08:24:00.002Z

whooh-lah, what a day, what a wind! The kind of howling gale which grabs the breath from your very lungs, the kind of force which tries to knock you off your feet, whips the glasses from your face and somehow manages to sweep the mp 3 ear pieces from your ears. What a day!

So …
what was the reef doing out and about at 7.30 on a decidedly nippy morn. This morning just happened to be the morning I woke up and said … “enough! Enough with the lolling around watching tv, enough with the feeding myself every little (or not so little) darn thing my heart desires and my mind can conjure up. Enough with turning my back on the words I should be writing.”

today is the first day of the rest of my life and I refuse to die fat, frumpy and frustrated! I will not allow the disappointments of life to emotionally de-bone me. I will love my body and my mind enough to cherish them, feed them, exercise them.

may the force be with me ...

seven long years

2009-10-05T22:28:00.004+01:00

manfred walter oellermann 10/11/1941 -06/10/2002

does your magnificent energy now explore the spirals of history
and future, are your questions answered and new mysteries found?
i miss the calm of your balance, the tenderness of your caring,
the stimulation of your mind. i miss you!
until we meet again ...

remembered

tonight, cold night
scarf wound, collar turned up
shoulders hunched against the chill
the night country clear

stars bright against the black sky
head tipped back,eyes drawn
to heaven's artwork
and i remembered you

i remembered summer nights
creeping, suffocating heat
i felt again the warmth of bricks
where we would sit to catch the cool

i remembered an african sky
your arm lifted,embracing the firmament
showing, teaching, sharing
your amazement at the wonder of the stars

seven long years of separation
and i have learned to live without you
the ache of missing, less probing perhaps
until the act of memory brings you to my side

in my mind i lie star gazing
my head at rest in your lap
my heart at peace in your company
in the seeping summer heat

the night chill bites
memory fades into reality's background
my eyes alone follow these stars
i inhabit a world without you

Copyright © 2009 by Eryll Oellermann

fair warning

2009-10-05T10:57:00.002+01:00

come wednesday - i' m leaving on a jet plane.

new york, new york ... bagels for breakfast, new york pizza and affordable jack daniels!

i'll be gone about three weeks and probably won't find much time for blogging.

should anything spectacularly exciting happen ... i will of course keep you informed ;-)

scotch mist

2009-10-01T11:42:00.003+01:00

the village where i hang my hat

i wear glasses. without them the world is a blur. warning for
the innocent ... there is a wee drug called tamoxifen! 'they'
use it for estrogen affected breast cancers, it has some really
nasty side effects. my oncologist at the time, a man of great
arrogance, did not bother to inform me of any of the possible
consequences before i took the meds.
when i complained that my formerly great eyesight
was deteriorating at a rate of knots...
he said...
"hmmmm, well, that does sometimes happen, usually only in
older people.!
needless to say at the time i was mad as a snake. fortunately
life goes on, we adapt or die.

damn, every time i say adapt or die, i remember p w botha
(prime minister (1978–84) and first state president (1984–89)
of South Africa) haranguing us vote carrying white south
africans. his 'crossing the rubicon' speech i think the
press called it. i don't remember the actual speech, just p w
glowering,stabbing his finger at the camera and instructing us
to 'adapt or die'. yeah, yeah, i know, but, south african politicians
tended to be extremely paternalistic in the bad old days ...

yes people! you may well mutter ...
"that reef is starting to write like a history lesson!)
it happens, if you live long enough ...
one day you wake up and realise ...
"omg! i was alive in the olden days."

what was the point of this story anyway?
ah yes...

yesterday, i went for an early morning walk - it does happen!
the day was ... damp, scotch mist seeping through the village,
dampening sound. now scotch mist, whilst not exactly being rain,
is still quite wet. it wraps you in a mini cloak of cloud. my
glasses don't have windscreen wipers, so ...
i took them off.
without my glasses my world is a monet like blur. still
beautiful, definitely lacking definition. i send up a small
prayer that i will not snob friendly fellow villagers due to my
inability to focus!

at the south end of the village, between the shaley shore and
the "king's arms farm" is a large pond. said pond is home
to three beautiful swans and one lonely (?) heron.
i have not seen the heron for many weeks, i though he/she might
have left for warmer climes.
yesterday, even without my glasses ...

the heron was back.

just because

2009-09-29T10:15:00.002+01:00

i love me some celtic woman!
why not?

celtic woman

when you least expect ...

2009-09-29T02:06:00.002+01:00

i wasn't looking for it.

it was one of those grey scottish days when the wind slices
like a knife.
an ... omg, it's too cold to breath kind of day, a day when
sensible people stay home and dream of spain and sunshine.
leaving the daft few to fight their way along the sea front,
buffeted from every direction by angry, ice cold air.

i had grabbed my old jacket from the cupboard at the bottom of
the stairs.
as i rounded the corner from the main street into shore road, i
thrust my cold hands deep into my pockets in search of
protection from the wandering tendrils of the icy blast.

and there it was.

right at the bottom of a deep pocket, in with the fluff and
beach sand and a forgotten piece of gum. rattling around with
a couple of loose pennies and a once, beautiful when wet, pebble.
what can i say ... i was surprised.
after all, it would not have been the first place i expected
to find such a treasure.

never a dull moment

2009-09-26T08:51:00.002+01:00

thursday evening ...
i heard it on the grapevine or in more modern day speak ...
facebook!
"you left a light on!" ...
old news, i am a south african, i always leave a light on."

"you have a leak, the water is dripping
through the ceiling downstairs."
ok, that one got my attention.
phoned my landlady...
in her usual efficient manner she had the situation under
control, burst pipe in bathroom, no damage to my place,
slight damage to ceiling downstairs. water mains turned off,
plumber on order.

i was due to return home on saturday but due to an overactive
imagination, i decided to push that forward by a day. it is
kind of difficult to relax whilst imagining unknown plumbers
trundling through my home.

i arrived home to find my front door open, signs of work ...
strange pieces of pipe lying around in the bathroom.
a distinct lack of water in the cistern, but, no plumber.

everybody relax! this is ayrshire not africa! open front doors
are okay, strange plumbers alone in your home are okay.
i phoned my efficient landlady to report in. no problems,
repair work in progress, plumber just off to stranraer for spare
parts.

friday evening, plumbing problem resolved, the weekend ahead,
a glass of ice with other additions ...
cheers!

midwives and measurements

2009-09-24T14:08:00.002+01:00

funny thing, the older i grow the more i love to hold
a new born baby.
so new, there is still a touch of heaven about them.
eyes not quite ready to see the physical world, ears
that will hear a whisper. tiny, tiny hands already
more than capable of finding the rose bud mouth.

since monday i have been staying with the kids and
baby daniel. would you argue if i told you he was the
most beautiful child in the world. that at four days old
his genius is already obvious!

thursday - 24th
today was heel prick day ... please note - heel prick,
not friggin' heel pricks! our poor baby, the indignity of it,
ouch, ouch, ouch. it was also weigh daniel day and m has
done a stirling job with the breast feeding, our young prince
has gained weight, an increase from 2.64kg to 2.67kg after only
five days since birth...
yay, for super mom!

i must add that i am totally impressed with the nhs scotland.
wow, a midwife visits every other day to help and encourage
the new mom and check that baby is doing well. and... all
without charge,such a civilised country

tomorrow i am off to saltcoats for the day, joshua, my
eldest grandchild turns thirteen. i can't believe
how time flies, it feels like only yesterday i would lift and
grasp him under my arm and carry him off whilst he kicked and
screamed in a raging tantrum. now he is in high school,
looking sharp in his blazer and tie and learning to play the sax!
josh is autistic, these days he is classified as a high functioning autistic,
back in the day, well....
that is another whole blog!

Daniel

2009-09-20T03:49:00.002+01:00

daniel on his birthday.

baby talk

2009-09-19T19:03:00.002+01:00

Definitely a capital letter day ...

Welcome to our world Daniel Adam Oellermann!

First born son of Adam and Michelle.

My sixth grandchild!

Born at 12.06, weighing in at 5lb 13oz. Small but fighting fit!

lacking inspiration or ... just plain lazy

2009-09-12T10:35:00.002+01:00

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" Mary Oliver

woke up this morning determined to take an early morning walk as we
have sunshine. the dark will be upon us soon enough and as we know
the dark is mostly accompanied by the wet. i come from good
south african stock, we don't do wet very well!

having dragged my arse out of bed i decided that i may as well have
a cup of coffee before my walk. the house filled with the good
morning aroma of my favourite tipple, i decided to check my email
whilst i waited.
naughty, naughty!
emails, facebook, blogs ...
what can i say. times passes.
so then i decided ... best shower and have my brekkie before my
walk.

ten o'clock, saturday morning, i'm washed, well fed and on my
second cuppa.
why am i writing when i should be walking?

i guess i am not ...

laconic http://www.answers.com

Using or marked by the use of few words; terse or concise.
See synonyms at silent.

[Latin Lacōnicus, Spartan, from Greek Lakōnikos, from Lakōn,
a Spartan (from the reputation of the Spartans for brevity of
speech).]
laconically la·con'i·cal·ly adv.

WORD HISTORY The study of the classics allows one to
understand the history of the term laconic, which comes to us
via Latin from Greek Lakōnikos. The English word is first
recorded in 1583 with the sense “of or relating to Laconia or
its inhabitants.” Lakōnikos is derived from Lakōn, “a Laconian,
a person from Lacedaemon,” the name for the region of Greece
of which Sparta was the capital. The Spartans, noted for being
warlike and disciplined, were also known for the brevity of
their speech, and it is this quality that English writers still
denote by the use of the adjective laconic, which is first
found in this sense in 1589.

the terrible tale of the left behind sheep (singular)

2009-08-29T10:23:00.002+01:00

most mornings i wake up, make myself a cup of coffee, check my emails and then...
i gaze out of my lounge window at the fields and hill beyond the a77 and the row of houses which line it's route.

this morning the farmer was out, amazing how those who work the land are up and at 'em whilst the rest of us are still knuckling the sleep from our eyes.

this particular farmer has two working dogs and it is always a pleasure to watch them at work. rounding up the flock from the surrounding fields and flushing the odd layabout from the bushy hillside.

today they missed one!

i was standing at the window, watching the clouds scudding by, the rain drifting across the fields... fully absorbed in a soft bed of now.

and there she/he was, bumbling around in the bushes ... all alone!

life ... it does make one wonder. how did the dogs miss her (may as well address the left behind sheep as 'her', the fields around these parts are filled with sheep - feminine gender and there are but a few sheep - masculine gender.!
where have the rest of the flock gone?
they flowed across the green fields like a fast moving white river, they disappeared - without hesitation ... over the hill and out of sight.
now, would they be receiving injections against various sheep type diseases?
or perhaps ... deworming or even dipping?
i try my best not to consider the fact that...
they may have flowed over the hill and into a big old cattle truck.
the start of a journey into a future as minted lamb chops and sunday roasts.

will the left behind sheep survive? alone out there in a world of dark, lonely nights and feeding foxes.
there are even tales of a puma stalking the gentle ayrshire countryside.

nope ... i'm not kidding, there have been sightings and a horse was attacked near coylton!
of course, one is inclined to wonder quite how a wild puma might have come to be living and hunting along the west coast of scotland.

so ... is the tale of the left behind sheep a tale of terrible tragedy, or ...
a serendipitous success story?

so far, ms lonely sheep has yet to notice she is the sole (domestic) inhabitant of the bushy, hill field. she continues to graze contentedly, munching away... a stirling example of the "why worry, be happy" life philosophy.

gone fishin'

2009-07-09T07:38:00.001+01:00

bye bye baby

2009-07-02T12:02:00.004+01:00

my beloved muninn goes home to her breeders on sunday. they will rehome her. i am heartbroken but it is my
decision. i made a mistake, i underestimated the difference the passing years had made to my physical
strength. i also underestimated the size muninn would reach and the sheer energy and muscle power of a young
bullie of her size.

we have been together three months now and over that time i have gradually come to the understanding
that i was not the best person for muninn to live with and that i... would possibly expire before my
alloted time ... from pure exhaustion.

so, i have been dealing with misery and guilt and the need to make a decision.

i was forced to make a decision when ms muni slipped her leash, escaped the back garden through an
open door into the offices. accompanied by the panic stricken trills of the office workers,
she was about to dash out of the front door and into the outside world, with absolutely nothing
between one over excited young bullie and the notorious a77. luckily my friend j grabbed hold of her.
she has her own bullie and understands that they are not as scary as they look!
i felt such fear, i thought my heart would seize!

it was decision time, no more impossible plans to find a house with a garden in my price range ... ha,
bloody ha ... as if that was ever more than a dream!
so i contacted her breeders, who of course have first refusal. they understood my dilemma and will meet
me on sunday, halfway between london and ballantrae. saves me a REALLY long drive and i am most grateful.
i trust them completely and i know they will take their time and find a wonderful new home for my girl. in
the meantime she will be home with her doggy family and the human children she so adores.

so, at the moment, i have a huge lump in my throat at the thought of her leaving. a small dose of guilt
as i feel i should have woken up and smelled the coffee ... before i brought her home.
at the same time, i feel almost a sense of relief, as week by week it was becoming harder for me to cope!

bye bye baby ...

and then there were midges

2009-07-01T08:16:00.007+01:00

and the heat rose, and the green, green grass grew tall and
luscious, and the wind blew no more.

and the people of the village brought forth their folding
chairs, their barbecues and their tanning lotion.

and mother nature watched and she was well pleased.
and on the tenth day she brought forth the scottish midges!

aye, village people, though you may have relaxed all
summer long, enjoying beer in the long evening light,
sipping chilled white wine from long stemmed glasses,
chatting with friends and neighbours as the smoke of a
multitude of barbecues rises and fades. things are about
to change

yay verily, though you may plough and plant, shear and milk
and bake the most delicious strawberry and cream tarts.

yay verily, though you may stride my lands and tend my assets
and believe you hold dominion over all my creatures.

yay verily, though you may burn your citronella candles to
the gods of itch.

i have brought forth scottish midges to remind you,
people of the village.to remind you that these insignificant
winged creatures, so small, so silent, so many ...
will cause you to flee the great outdoors ...
slapping and squealing, itching and scratching.

so i say unto you, return to your steaming hot homes,
reconnect with your televisions. venture ye not forth,
until mother nature feels such pity for these poor mortals.
and she causes the winds to rise and the scottish midges
to flee to where ever it may be that scottish midges flee.

the following information is for educational purposes only. the author of this blog denies any responsibility for any ennui experienced by the reader.

The Scottish or Highland Midge, in it’s own right, probably explains why a country as beautiful as Scotland only has a population of some 5 million people. The Highland midge has a notorious reputation for spoiling folks enjoyment of the great outdoors during the summer months.

There are actually a large number of different types of midges in Scotland but Culicoides Impunctatus the Highland or Scottish midge, which is a tiny insect, enjoys a reputation as being the fiercest biting midge.

It reeks havoc across vast tracts of Scotland from May to September. Their nuisance value to the camper, walker, angler etc. is so great that many holiday makers and tourists have been known to pack up and leave within an hour of being attacked. The Scottish Midge is especially prevalent on the West Coast where in the right weather conditions and at certain times, in the early morning or late evening, it becomes impossible to stay outdoors for more than a few seconds.

Some Midge Facts

*
The Scottish midge has a wingspan of 1.4 mm.
*
A swarm of midges can deliver approximately 3000 bites an hour.
*
A female will feed on the skin for up to 4 minutes taking 0.1 microlitres of blood.
*
A female midge can probably detect you from a range of up to 100 metres.
*
It is estimated that in the Highlands midge populations can reach densities of 10,000,000 midges per acre in ideal conditions.
*
Midges have probably only been in Scotland for about 8000 years.

'she'

2009-06-23T17:14:00.004+01:00

the heat has gone, the mist has rolled down from the hilltops
and cradles the village in an embrace of almost invisibility.

my (oh so green... not!)ground source heating system is feeling
bitchy. i will call her 'she' as only the female could be as
difficult and cantankerous as 'she'!
'she' has decided that heating the water above 28 degrees
(centigrade)is unnecessary. needless to say, i disagree!
i even went so far as to read the very thick instruction book,
desperation can make me do crazy things ...
i delved deep into the psyche of 'she', i studied her bodily
parts, i touched, i caressed ... 'she' was totally unimpressed
by my attentions!

ja, no, well fine as we would say back in the good old RSA!
that was yesterday, the mist rolled back, the sun came out
and today is definitely beer drinking weather. however, 'she'
is still not playing nicely.

with some extra attention i managed to persuade 'her' to heat
up to 32 degrees. the difference between 28 and 32 degrees...
when it comes to standing in a shower at either of these
temperatures ... there is no friggin' appreciable difference!
the water is too damn cold!!

i was unable to put in a complaint yesterday as i was up in
saltcoats. liam had an appointment in glasgow with his
neurologist and i was seconded to take care of child collection
and after school tending for the other four ;-)

today having taken a very quick shower i was off to inform my
landlady of the dire straights afoot. hmmm ...
she says she will arrange for an appropriate technician to call
but reminded me that the firm that services 'her' is in some far
flung scottish town, hah!
i remarked sweetly, with perhaps just the tiniest hint of sarcasm
in my voice ...

"no rush belinda, i am more than happy to take cold showers in
an attempt to toughen up my body for my cruise of the fjords."
what's the bet i am still showering cold tomorrow!

the naked garden

2009-06-20T14:47:00.002+01:00

my blog friend mike s from maine sent me this some days ago. just too good not to share. thanks mike!

Lawns & God

GOD: St. Francis, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there in the USA? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honeybees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colours by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.

ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers weeds and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colourful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it, sometimes twice a week.

GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?

ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

ST. FRANCIS: No, sir -- just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

ST. FRANCIS: Yes, sir.

GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.

ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stoke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life.

ST. FRANCIS: You'd better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

GOD: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?

ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

GOD: And where do they get this mulch?

ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?

ST. CATHERINE: Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a real stupid movie about ...

GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.

fancy foot work

2009-06-18T18:54:00.003+01:00

today i revisited my orthopaedic consultant. the mri shows
no problems other than the still broken second metatarsal
on the left foot.

i have a choice ... do nothing.

my foot has been broken for the past year and for the last
four months or so ... well,
i have learned to live with it, the swelling has almost
completely gone and as long as i tread warily, i am
experiencing very little pain.

so, do nothing, or ...

have an op, which would involve taking bone from
the pelvic area and making a bone dowel to join
the two ends together ... a dowel joint! heh!

having endured more than my fair share of hospitalization,
my first reaction was ... say what! do nothing please,
thank you!

but then again...
with my foot as it is, my life style is kind of limited.
i can't run or exercise vigorously. driving the car
makes my foot ache.when i get cramp or stretch my foot
in my sleep ..well...
pain tends to wake one, even from the deepest sleep!

i sat in the doc's office, my mind doing wheel spins. do
nothing or an op and six weeks in plaster. hmmmm!

eventually my sixty year old brain made the grown up decision.
i signed the consent form and the mighty nhs's pre op exercise
swung into action. every part of me was prodded, poked and
checked. it was fast and efficient - i am finally impressed.
i was also a little nervous, this was too fast. when were they
thinking of operating?
when in doubt ask!

me, in slightly strained and panic stricken voice ...
"ummm, about when will this op take place?"

pre-op nurse ...
"well ... the list is quite long, probably not before the
beginning of september ... eight to twelve weeks, unless ...
the consultant has a gap."

i exhale and feel my tensed muscles relax, okay dokay,
i can handle september.the efficiency with which my pre op
was handled had me worried.not a problem though, merely
another case of nhs hurry up and wait!

2009-06-18T15:10:00.001+01:00

creation, random thoughts and other imponderables

2009-06-16T11:38:00.001+01:00

as a child, bed time was an entrance into
the world of the mind. waiting in the dark
for sleep to claim me, my mind would wander,
i might became one of the "famous five", travelling
in a caravan, high adventure. i admired george,
the tom boyish, girl creation of the author
enid blyton. strangely enough "the secret seven"
never held the same fascination for me!
george might well have been my first crush ...

nope, incorrect recollection! my first girl crush was
my very first teacher when i started school,at
age four(before i could read).

bedtime was this dark, safe place where i learned
to travel with my mind.

for many years, i gave attention to god and the
size of the universe. to the begining of creation.
all things begin, all things end...
god created the earth.
who or what created the creator?
we have our world, our universe.
what was there before ...
nothingness? what is nothingness?
what lies beyond?
if all things end, what lies beyond the end?
hmmm ...

as i approached puberty, i decided that some questions
might have answers way beyond our mortal understanding.
it occured to my young mind that if i continued to
dwell on these questions ...
i might go insane!
some mysteries are beyond solving. some questions beyond
answers.
and anyway, my hormones were fluctuating, there were
more pressing matters on my mind.

so where was i going with all this...
well, i am on my second reading of eckhart tolle's
"a new earth". now there is a man who has given a thought
or two to a thing or two! he always challenges me! reading
eckhart requires concentration and consideration. i will
probably read and reread his work until my eyes no longer see.

i think i have always pretty much understood that "i" was
neither my body, my beautiful mind nor my somewhat chaotic
thought process.
i understood the indestructible essence of energy,
the possibility of an immortal soul, the undeniable
existence of racial memory and the unfortunate proclivity
of man to pass our pain from generation to generation.
mr tolle just says it all so beautifully!
he reminds me that i am more ...

cricket

2009-06-15T15:16:00.004+01:00

i don't like cricket ...

i love it!

too hot for guinness

2009-06-15T12:13:00.002+01:00

the long days are with us
the summer sun beating
the roses in bloom
no more central heating

the rain has forgotten
that ayrshire is home
hied off with the wind
leaving us all alone

with blue skies and sunshine
we suddenly find
our white skins are reddish
we really don't mind

a freckle or two
is a small price to pay
for sitting outside
in the heat of the day

the ground's drying up
the mud's turned to dust
the birds are all singing
with summer time lust

no beef roast and three veg
the kitchen's too hot
it's time to cook outside
with midges to swat

it's too hot for guinness
but great for light beer
a bottle of lager
all icy and clear

can't sleep at night
cause i'm tossing and turning
i'm all hot and sweaty
the pillow is burning

the sun hardly sleeps
just a few hours at night
my crack of dawn wakings
brought on by the light

woke up this morning
what was it i heard
it wasn't a plane
and for sure not a bird

the sound of rain falling
soft, warm, scottish rain
all's well in south ayrshire
it's cloudy again

Copyright © 2004-2009 by Eryll Oellermann

greek verbs

2009-06-04T10:47:00.002+01:00

god manfred, why?
i miss you still
i phone the birthday boy
turned thirty four
can you believe it?
grown now into a man
but still the sweet son
there, inside, untouched
vulnerable and protective
we talk, of greek verbs
and a celebratory
full scottish breakfast
i put the phone back
in the cradle by the window
my throat constricts
hot tears burn behind my eyelids
god manfred, why?
because he has no father
for me to pass the phone to
no dad to listen
with knowledge to the questions
that men must surely need
to share at times
or do the welling tears
betray my own aloneness

Copyright © 2009 by Eryll Oellermann

soul touching

2009-06-01T11:00:00.001+01:00

some days are so perfect ...

they are a prayer.

i'm hexed ...

2009-05-29T08:25:00.003+01:00

for my magnificent muse ...

i will be lost without you!

i'm hexed ...

in all the world
i'll never find
a woman
who is so unkind

now i must sit
alone you see
and wait
not always patiently

to know what hex
is on my head
will i get ill
or even dead!

perhaps the swine flu
will attack
or huge carbunkles
on my back

my rav might get
an engine knock
or drop a piston
through the block

or it might rain
and never stop
or, no more creme eggs
at the shop!

there's naught to do
but wait and see
what dreadful fate
you've hexed on me

Copyright © 2009 by Eryll Oellermann

needles and pins

2009-05-28T23:47:00.002+01:00

i've pins and needles
in my tongue
the dentist's needle
made me numb
my mouth was such
a sorry sight
it gave the dentist
quite a fright
a great big filling
fell right out
and left a gaping hole
no doubt
she chipped and chiselled
drilled and sprayed
while i sat in the chair
and prayed
i really hate
the gurgling sound
of spraying water
whooshing round
i always know
that pretty soon
i'll start to choke
and then i'll swoon
my nerves are shot
my muscles tense
i can't wait till she says
"now rinse"
at last she's finished
time to leave
what a heartfelt sigh
i heave
i beg the tooth gods
hear my plea
"please keep my poor teeth
safe for me"

Copyright © 2009 by Eryll Oellermann

just because ...

2009-05-21T16:18:00.002+01:00

side by side

2009-05-19T08:35:00.004+01:00

forever together ...

surviving

2009-05-18T22:40:00.002+01:00

day twelve and smoke free. not exactly doing the dance of happiness, but surviving, day by day.
must admit, i find consistent self denial ... well, boring actually!

foot fact

2009-05-15T12:11:00.003+01:00

once upon a time, a long, long time ago, i broke the metatarsal bone, left foot, second toe.
of course, at the time i was not sent for an xray, so the medical world and i were, might i say, ignorant of the fact that a bone was broken. i was assured it might just as easily be arthritis and even if it was a fracture of a small bone of the foot... well, there was nothing to be done.

hah!

Hell's teeth! I only had my appointment with the orthopaedic consultant last friday and today an appointment letter arrives.
I have an appointment for an mri on the 29th …
what???
the nhs showing signs of, dare I say, efficiency.
Mayhap the bastards are just overcome with remorse because they left me to hobble around on a broken foot for … ten friggin' months!

Yep, that darn bone is still broken. I was sure it had healed, the pain was definitely in retreat. I nearly cancelled the appointment, luckily I decided to turn up , if only for an opportunity to whinge about the nhs's cavalier attitude towards my crumbling bone structure.

Hah!

The bone guy is a little concerned... he does not understand how that particular bone came to break. Well, no use asking me! I woke up one morning, swung out of bed, my foot touched the ground and aarrgghhh whooo! Who knows what the devil I get up to at night? I always believed I slept but …
who breaks their foot whilst asleep in bed?

Anyway, concern always leads to needles and drilling for blood. They took enough of my own to make a healthy take away for dracula. Then the bone guy consulted with the xray guy and the two of them decided that they needed an mri of my left foot. They sent me on my way with promises of appointments. I was not fooled, I am an old hand at this medical game. I reckoned I would be safely ensconced in a home for the elderly by the time my turn for an mri came around.

Imagine my surprise!

my question is … what happened to the pain? If you have pain for long enough does the brain switch off the pain notification system? Hmmmm ...

tea for two

2009-05-02T16:42:00.002+01:00

spring, summer ...
the fund raising committees spring into action.
one of my favourite events is "a tea/coffee morning in the village hall". what a great way to have a pound or two siphoned out of my pocket!

ten o'clock this morning (a clear and sunny morning i might add), my pal jean drove through from girvan and we took a stroll up to the hall to partake of the delicious goodies on offer.
really good coffee, scones, cream cakes and crumpets galore ... yum!

there were also a few stalls, selling cakes, plants and tombola tickets. i bought a chocolate cake and a couple of tombola tickets and ...
i won! a bottle of sherry AND a family ticket to vikingar ...

"Visit Vikingar! located in the beautiful coastal resort of Largs in Ayrshire, and be enthralled by the saga of the Vikings in Scotland. In the capable hands of our costumed story tellers, experience the Viking adventure first hand as you are guided through 500 years of history, shown a Viking Longhouse and taken to meet the Viking Gods and Valkyries in Valhalla, as Viking history is brought to life in the 'Viking Experience'. Then take your seat for an amazing 5-screen film presentation following one Viking family through generations of turmoil, battle and adventure until the Battle of Largs in 1263. Finally, enter the Viking Hall of Knowledge where multi-media technology and other learning aids continue the 'Saga of the Vikings in Scotland'. If you're looking for excitement, realism, atmosphere, action and a great day out - the Viking Experience has it covered! "

sounds good, i'm sure my grandchildren will be delighted :-)

todays fund raiser was in aid of the starfish appeal.

"The Starfish Appeal aims to raise money to refurbish the Mountbatten Ward, the Paediatric Liver Unit in Kings College Hospital. "

about a year ago, a local youngster with liver failure was flown up to the hospital, had a liver transplant and in due course, returned in good health to his family and friends.
the family and the village now put on a yearly event to raise funds for the appeal.
wonderful community spirit!

starting over

2009-05-01T12:22:00.001+01:00

1st may, a good date, has a historical ring to it ... may day 2009.

today is the first day of the rest of my life. new beginnings!

life is for living and live it i have. i am of an age where i feel no need to procrastinate or waste time, the clock is ticking.

i firmly believed hahn@home's idea of a six month dating hiatus following the breakdown of a relationship was a excellent idea.

in reality, at my age ...
six months is a long time ... just sayin'!

so, today i came to a decision. i stood outside (in the intermittent rain) looked up at the sky, took a deep breath and decided i was grateful to be me. no more guilt, no more sorrow ... life goes on and life is good. an adventure waiting to happen, a feast, piled high for the hungry, to spend another minute looking back would be wasteful.

i will never again 'hunt' love! i will enjoy my world exactly as it is. i will open myself to life and new experiences. if love should land on me, gentle as a butterfly ... i will be very still and give thanks.

hot water with slice of lemon?

2009-04-30T16:18:00.001+01:00

she finally tracked me down! the smoking nurse. or should it be the stop smoking nurse?
some months ago the doc and i reached a decision...
i would give up smoking ... heh!
my body really objected to the statins used to lower my ever increasing cholesterol count. no way i could continue taking the damn things. doc was agitated, my risk was too high, she was not happy. only way left to reduce the risk - stop smoking.
well... yes, maybe, in a couple of months ...
but first ...
i was off to new york, then it was christmas and new year, then i flew out to south africa and then of course i had all those cheap, duty free ciggies i did not want to waste. and then herself was coming for a visit and i was avoiding the stop smoking nurse like the plague.

until yesterday.
the phone rang, i answered it ... as you do.
it was she,

i have a week in which to smoke, while changing my habits. don't smoke in the house, well i don't anyway. don't smoke while driving, heh, quite a good idea except that today i had to drive to maybole for a dentist appointment. so i was nervous, so i smoked in the car! get over it, rome wasn't built in a day!
drink six glasses of water a day, man, that is a lot of water to consume as well as the umpteen cups of coffee i drink.

"about the coffee" ...

"what about the friggin' coffee?? i'm giving up smoking, not life."

"it's the first cup in the morning"

"ah you mean the one i can't live without"

"you need to replace it with a cup of hot water and a slice of lemon."

sugar and the wolf

2009-04-27T08:20:00.000+01:00

herself has put "it" out there, blogged about, admitted - that we two, sugar and the wolf are no longer together.
i am free to write and share.
except for one small fact, my ever wandering mind is strangely silent.
five years is a good long while.
i need to mourn.
i grew accustomed to being part of more than one.
i am most aware that herself was cast from an original, one off mold. a wonderful companion, intelligent, humerous and feisty!

for the present i am content to mull over the past. i expect a time will come when i will once more contemplate the future.

time for tea

2009-04-26T08:08:00.002+01:00

"come to tea" ... back home in the good old republic of sa, would mean...
pop in, around three in the afternoon. i'll organize a cake/cream scones or summat, i'll put out the good tea set on the good tray, i'll make tea in an actual teapot! then we can spend an hour or so chatting before you go home!

not so in the (not so) united kingdom.

here, for the most part, "come and have your tea with us" is an invitation to enjoy the evening meal with friends.

my good friend shona is most generous with her invitations to break bread with her clan. she is also a magnificent cook! myself, having spent the past six plus years feeding (for the most part) only myself...
well let's just say, when it comes to entertaining, i have grown somewhat idle!
result, i am most likely to invite my pal round for lunch and offer her a truly delicious (and easily prepared) ham, cheese and salad roll.

week before last, i was overcome with remorse and decided that it was high time shona and andy enjoyed a proper meal, prepared by yours truly. i decided on a lamb casserole and for pud ... my specialty ... bread and butter pudding. prepared for all eventualities, such as, myself suddenly losing interest in pudding making ...
i also purchased one of those delicious frozen chocolate gateau from the asda in girvan. unfortunately the small ones had sold out...
ah well, the huge, rich, creamy one, would just have to do.
safe! every eventuality covered, i popped said choccy cake in the freezer.
as it happened, i happily baked the bread and butter pudding (note to self ... british bread is not ideal for bread and butter pudding) and the gateau stayed in the freezer.

a terrible temptation, every time i opened the freezer to extract on of my "weighless", under 300 calorie meals...
there it was ...
"the cake", frozen but none the less tempting.

last night adam and michelle invited me around for supper, i defrosted "the cake" and took it north with me to the farm ... sharing being the only way i know of not eating the whole damn thing myself! i put it on a plate and parked it on the passenger seat next to me where i could 'keep an eye on it'. hah! forgot about how extra bumpy that farm road is just after a rain and in the dark ...
enough said, "the cake" arrived in more or less one piece but my passenger seat is now a kind of chocolate gateau disaster area.

what can i say, these things are sent to try us.

pink camo

2009-04-25T08:37:00.003+01:00

ahhh fudge, i feel about one hundred and ten years old! either it is all this exercising a great big, bouncy bull terrier pup ...
or ...
i am having a major arthritis flair ...
or ...
both ... heh!

this dog walking lark is way up there on the "how to make friends and influence people" list.
suddenly folks are chatting to me whether i have munnin along or not.

our village has a number of grand characters whom, thus far, i have only known by reputation. bandanna man, an aging hippy with a flowing beard of biblical proportion and a pack of very ferocious looking dogs. yesterday afternoon he and his boys approached to introduce themselves to little missy. munnin was, of course, delighted to make their acquaintance.

then whilst walking the grounds we bumped into big ben, a giant of a man with a plethora of scary piercings. turns out he loves bullies and allowed munnin to leap all over his very large self. of course she managed to weave between his legs causing her leash to come dangerously near to toppling him! i had a gleeful picture of myself stepping neatly aside and yelling .... "timber".

this morning i awoke to a beautiful spring day, the daffodils are on their way out and bluebells and tulips are taking their place. munnin and i set off on our walk, she adorned in her new pink camo harness and leash. very chic, i suppose i could have gone with the old fashioned army camo but ...
that would have made her look even more like the killer dog most folks think she is! so pink it is, to soften the edges and confuse matters a little.

walking at seven in the morning is most pleasant, quiet, not too many folks around to distract the princess. she is a friendly soul and coming across others, out about their business, well, she tends to cast aside any pretense as to who is in charge. the new short leash does help, the majority of people we meet feel no need to be leaped upon by an over friendly pup. they tend to pale and draw back, for the princess this is an open invitation to show how much she cares!

so, in the quiet of the new day, we managed to stride it out. my reward ... the pup is now fast asleep.
ssshhhh ...

setting sail

2009-04-23T08:44:00.002+01:00

setting sail

my uncle lance said "bloody" an awful lot! he even inserted "bloody" into other words, for instance ... im-bloody-possible.
my dad did not swear. well, that was my belief, until i was seventeen. i was working at the standard bank in pietermaritzburg and i was to take a lift home with dad, i was waiting in his office, kind of around a corner when my old man came in with one of his clerks. he was swearing masterfully! he was mortified when he saw me, sitting there with my mouth hanging open. turned out my dad did swear, just not in front of ladies.

when i was four my folks decided to move us all, lock, stock and barrel to england. dad was english born and his mum still lived in sussex. my gran's health was a bit iffy at the time, my mom was as nomadic as i am and was always up for a bit of adventure ... so, goodbye south africa and hello england.

uncle lance, who had left south africa after the war and decided to farm in the uk, asked dad to join him in the farming venture. i think uncle lance and auntie alice may have been wealthy, he was an accountant back home and had owned the firm.he was farming in kent, near a small village called kennington.
uncle lance organized a house in the village for us, as i remember it was big and very cold in the winter.

we set sail on one of the old union castle mail ships. my sister ann stayed behind as she was already teaching and had met the love of her life! so, it was dad and mom, maureen, patricia, lola, me and my little brother roderick aka joe. of course i don't remember much, except for the fact that when the adults had tea the waiters brought out cartons of ice cream in paper cups. when tea time was over they used to throw the cartons with any left over ice creams overboard. what a waste, even at four years old i understood that and i never forgot!

puppy dog tales

2009-04-16T11:53:00.004+01:00

life with munnin is, well ... different.
i wake up earlier, i sit much less as i am continually checking up on my new house mate! it is hard to believe how one young bullie can cause such havoc - she has two middle names - silence and speed ... yoiks! munnin appears to have one golden rule - if i can grab it, i can chew it. trouble is i am kind of fond of my stuff, i enjoy with my eyes, she enjoys with her teeth! at the moment i keep all interleading doors closed, confining the wee devil to wherever i happen to be. i realize that this is not a long term solution, perhaps i will purchase some of those safety gates they make for homes with small children.

i walk a lot more and of necessity pay less attention to the weather i walk in. trying to exhaust munnin past her chew point is the name of the game.
munnin has made several new friends and so have i. so far we have met a small brown dog called donald, a scottish deer hound, an irish wolf hound ... man oh man, what ginormous dogs! several labradors, quite a few alsations and a pair of really grumpy rottweilers. there appears to be an unofficial club, of which the village dog walkers are members.
unofficial club rule - learn the names of all walking dogs (no need to know the name of their human).

for those of you who might be interested in my girl's rather unusual name ...
i did not choose it, she was named by her family of origin. they are breeders and their kennel is called ragnarok- a good norse name meaning - doom of the gods - huh?
so anyway, they tend to name their bullies after norse mythological characters - thus ... Munnin!

quote from wikipedia -
"In Norse mythology, Huginn and Muninn travel the world bearing news and information they have collected to Odin. Huginn is "thought" and Muninn is "memory". They are sent out at dawn to gather information and return in the evening. They perch on the god's shoulders and whisper the news into his ears."

"From Grímnismál:

Old Norse:

Huginn ok Muninn fliúga hverian dag
iörmungrund yfir;
óomk ek of Huginn, at hann aptr ne komit,
þó siámk meirr um Muninn.

English:

The whole world wide, every day,
fly Huginn and Muninn;
I worry lest Huginn should fall in flight,
yet more I fear for Muninn.

Another translation reads,

Every morning the two ravens Huginn and Muninn, are loosed and fly over Midgard; I always fear that Thought may not wing his way home, but my fear for Memory is greater."

how interesting! so much to learn, so little time.

we call her muni (pronounced moonie) ;-) and i love her!

meet munnin

2009-04-13T13:35:00.002+01:00

meet munnin

well ... i went and done and did it!
i got me a puppy ... awwww cute ...
aaarghhh crap! is more like it ... heh!

munnin is five months old and was born in bexley heath, which is the kent side of the outskirts of london. yep indeed, quite a way from my ayrshire headquarters.

but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

thanks to my new best friend 'navman', i negotiated the entire trip with unprecedented style and ease. i left home on wednesday and drove as far as bolton (nr. manchester), where my friend rose very kindly offered me a bed for the night. i intended to leave early thursday morning but was somewhat delayed by rose offering to make me one of her most excellent english breakfasts. yummm ... what can i say, no one does better breakfast than the brits!
i finally got going about elevenish.
all was well until i hit the infamous m25. talk about stop start driving, what a queue, it took hours to travel twenty miles. i was afeared my bladder would burst!
later, rather than sooner i arrived at the queen elizabeth toll bridge. wow, by the time you hit your sixtieth birthday, one is inclined to become a tad blase (afraid i have no notion as to how to get the little dingus above the e, but i'm sure you all know exactly what i mean). 'nuff said, that bridge, what a beaut! it was so friggin' high i felt airsick when i looked out of the car window.

thursday evening i went to meet munnin and her family. i was pretty nervous by now, on the trip down i had been giving the whole dog companion business some serious thought.for more than five years i have lived alone, responsible only for myself. i am spoiled ...
i do what i want when i want.
bringing a pup into my home would probably (yeah...right!!) change the dynamics of my life

of course, she was beautiful and obnoxious in that utterly bullie way. she leaped, she pushed, she tried to trip me, she tried to taste me. i was relieved to move inside and talk business.

friday morning, bright and early, i picked up my newest family member. her breeders cried, their children cried, i cried.
munnin and i set off, up the great north road, a ten hour journey ahead of us.

faultless navigation

2009-04-11T07:07:00.000+01:00

by nature ... i am nomadic. which might lead one to believe that this girl knows her way around a route map. unfortunately, not true! i possess an uncanny knack for arriving at unintended destinations.

getting lost ... the story of my life.
and then ...
enter the navman!

wow! how clever are those little devices?
a soft, intimate voice, whispering instructions, so patient, no ...
"eryll you numpty, we are lost ... again. would it be beneath your dignity to ASK someone for directions!"
instead, i have dulcet tones, patiently directing and redirecting me
"as soon as is possible, make a u turn, make a u turn!"
i feel as if i have my own personal travel angel, somewhere up there in the sky, making sure i arrive at the correct destination and on time.

2nd april 2009

2009-04-02T06:28:00.003+01:00

2nd april...
if only humans were immortal ...
today would have been my mom's 100th birthday.

mary catherine mcdonald hart ... you were special!

i miss you.
i miss the comfort of my mother and my friend.
i miss the ever present song on your lips,the gentle aroma of "oil of olay" face cream, the roughness of your hands as you reached out to comfort - you worked so hard ...
i miss hanging out in the kitchen with you.
i miss our chats as we pegged out washing in the harsh sunlight.
i miss the buns you used to bake especially for me - no fruit, because i loved buns but hated currents!
i miss discussing creation and eternity and humanity.

i miss you mom!

hush

2009-03-31T23:15:00.003+01:00

hush hush
do you hear
spring unwinding

sleepy sunshine
the blur of bumble bee
arisen from long slumber

night birds
who sing once more
of summer's promise

while wind blown daffodils
nod somewhat shaggy heads
to greet the indigo carpet

the bluebell harvest
soon to cloak
the woodland floor

spring unwinds
in fits and starts
of energy unleashed

the sound
of summer waiting
while winter wanders off

All materials Copyright © 2004-2009 by Eryll Oellermann

i wanna share it cause i like it ...

2009-03-30T15:00:00.003+01:00

please post my video on your facebook, myspace, website, blog -- email the link to all your friends -- i want EVERYONE ON EARTH to know -- you can't have it all!!!!!!!!!!!! DIRECTED BY etypical (w...

togetherness and other random stuff

2009-03-25T08:02:00.002Z

how warm is hot? how cool is cold?
heh!
different for herself than it is for myself ...
that's for sure.

keeping herself warm is a full time job. problem is ... the weather has been pretty mild since the princess arrived. question is ... how would she cope in real wintry weather?

new yorkers are used to their creature comforts. effective heating systems in winter and efficient cooling systems in summer. back home in the good old rsa ...
we are made of tougher stuff. we somehow manage to sweat through our summers and shiver through our winters with very little assistance from cooling and heating systems. the gentle wop, wop of the ceiling fans stir the still evening air and keep those little blood sucking bastards (alias mosquitoes) more or less at bay. when the winter evenings draw in the mosquitoes leave and we make do with a small electric heater whilst we watch tv, come bed time and we run for our bed covers.

hmmmm ...
i remember ...
we once lived in a house in durban north and the main bedroom had an air conditioner ... uber posh! come february ... a particularly hot and humid time of the year on the east coast ...
i would switch that loud, rackety thing on when the kids came home from school and we would spend an hour in the artificial coolth.
used an awful lot of electricity though, not the cheapest way to cool off! quick dip in the pool worked just as well plus washing off the days sweat.

of course, here in scotland, summers are pleasant. oft times pretty wet, all sunshine gratefully appreciated and the chance to sweat.... well!
winters are rather dark, dreary and wet ...
wet is good, it is the reason our hills glow with green health and our cattle are sleek and happy!
yeah well ... that's the story and we need to stick with it.
we do indeed need and use heating. but ... heating is expensive in our part of the world. i find i can afford to make do with the minimum. being of hardy south african stock this works for me!
but the princess ...
oy vay!
how will she survive a wild and windy winter?

my bedroom

2009-03-22T09:52:00.002Z

my bedroom ...

i have a splendid double bed, it came in a flatpack ... in this country, most every thing comes in a flat pack. my (present in scotland) boys, adam and ian, put it together for me ...
way back when.

my mattress is great, of the goldilocks type ... not too hard, not too soft.

there are two three drawered bedside tables, one on either side of the bed. the drawers contain "things of importance" ... medicines necessary for my continued good health, pocket sized photo albums, full of photos of my family, two lighters which no longer work but which have great sentimental value. face creams, which i should use but ... i don't! the mann's pen knife, it never left his pocket in all the years we were married, i would carry it myself but i fear losing it.
a tape i was given after a visit to a medium ... he could not produce the mann for me but ...
he recognized my healing abilities and told me i was wasting them, which set me on the road to studying reflexology. he was also able to see my horses, those horses of the spirit which surround me and lend me their strength. he gazed into the future and said i would become a person of importance in the place where i lived ... i don't think so... the reef is far too idle to reach for such a future!
i have reading lamps on both bedside tables. the side where i sleep usually has a pile of books ... reading, read or soon to be read. i have a very useful container which holds my glasses whilst i sleep. herself gave it to me, during the day when my glasses spend their time on my face i have a small, soft easter bunny which rests in the spectacle space!
on the far side table is a small clock in the form of a bright pink baseball boot. ms m found it whilst out shopping and it reminded her of me and my beloved pink allstars! i keep american time on that clock.

i have a wardrope and a chest of drawers which i purchased at the thrift shop downstairs, they obviously started off life as a suite. style ... art deco. most folks find them unattractive but for me, they are perfect. there is a solidness to them, they scream history and days of yore! i wonder who bought them ... new and proud, were they just married, did they have to save for their purchase ... a pound a month? was their life peaceful, exciting, joyous? where are they now, those original owners ... tucked away in a home for the elderly, dreaming of times past.
perhaps ... they have long ago departed this mortal coil, leaving children, grandchildren, even great grandchildren to carry their memory and their genes forward into tomorrow.

i have a dressing table with three mirrors, i do not care for it, it is a curvy, feminine piece of furniture and i am a boyish kind of woman. i found this piece at the thrift shop as well, i bought it for herself ... ms sugar being the type of woman who enjoys sitting before a mirrored dresser whilst she primps, preens and prepares!

on the floor under the side window - a wall cabinet, waiting to be attached to the wall above the basin. yep... i have a wash basin in my bedroom! this home of mine was designed and kitted out to be a respite home for the elderly. that did not happen and now i happily occupy the space.
the wall cabinet is my most precious pocession, the mann made it with his own hands during the last few months of his life. we had left the coast due to his increasing ill health and moved to a new abode, closer to the doctors and hospital he had come to need. our new home had two bathrooms and no bathroom cabinet, the pair of us went on a massive shopping expedition to find my perfect bathroom cabinet. we found it but it was way out of our price range! not a problem ... the mann took measurements and set about making an exact replica.
it was not easy for him, by then the cancer was taking it's toll, eating away at his strength, he was starting to lose the use of his legs. he would ask me to drive his car up close to his workbench and then he would prop himself up between them and work on the cabinet. he finished off the sanding, staining and varnishing on our dining room table as he no longer had the strength to stand.
the cabinet is beautiful ... and heavy. it needs special wall plugs and screws to hold it's weight.
one of these days one of my boys will do this job for me.

mistress moon

2009-03-11T06:31:00.001Z

our village lies on a flat strip of land, surrounded by hills to the north, east and south and the firth of clyde to the west.
a magical enclave.

yesterday evening i watched the moon rise. from behind the hills to the east.

she rose, swift and silent like a glorious golden hot air balloon ... huge, serene and splendid.

who would we be if we had no mistress moon to light our nights?

we had a veggie good time

2009-03-01T22:56:00.001Z

the scott's of saltcoats visited today. always a fun time, but recently, rather more challenging meal wise, since my daughter became a vegan!

i love recipe books, i love owning them and paging through them. following a recipe though, now that is an entirely different matter.
however, needs must and the whole vegan experience is new territory for me.

for today, i scanned the internet and i decided on vegan chilli. this involved green lentils, kidney beans, tomatoes, spices and chick peas. hubble, bubble...tasted rather good actually! for pud i made baked cinnamon bananas with vegan ice cream and halva.

yep ... vegan ice cream, there is also vegan custard, vegan cream and vegan mayonnaise, vegan margarine. a whole new world. for instance, did you know ... there are two types of glycerine, one animal and one vegetable. did you know ... some flavours of potato crisps have milk in them!

i have a new problem in my life, how come the ingredients listed on a label are set in such small type? indeed, how come are these aging eyes of mine even trying to read ingredients? calories, fat, salt, sugar and now glycerine as well! i must admit that my beloved daughters conversion to veganism is stretching both my eyesight and my mind.

my eldest two grandchildren, joshua, aged twelve and mairin, aged eleven, are both tall and skinny, they have humongous appetites and eat like horses! ah, the appetite of youth, i love heaping their plates full of food and watching them wolf it down, always ready and game for seconds. alaska, aged nine and in the middle, family order wise, has a much more delicate appetite, although she too always finishes her somewhat smaller helping with relish. liam, aged eight and savannah, aged six, have inherited the picky eating habits my own children exhibited. if they like it, it disappears from the plate as if by magic, if they don't care for the dish, well ... they try politely and valiantly, but man oh man, eating is just not that easy for them.

fortunately, vegan chilli, rice and roast veg went down well with everyone and who the hell has a problem with ice cream?

sun powered

2009-02-27T08:50:00.002Z

too much prozac, too balanced
there are words in my misery
strangely absent in times of content
an interesting phenomenon
but tiresome, in a way
my empty mind will search ... somewhat ...

two days ago, the sun shone
warmth wove through ballantrae
the surrounding sounds changed
the natural world spoke of spring

in the village flower beds
an occasional crocus, buds and blossoms
the daffodil bud dips and sways
full of pale yellow promise

the crystal rainbow maker
stuck with a suction cup and spit
to the tall window which faces south
and overlooks the church spire

where the tower clock, stopped in time
waits, patient as the old, for repair
the sun powered rainbow maker whirs
light hearted rainbows dance along the stairwell

i was fooled, i turned off the heating
others were fooled as well
the large, empty, green field
which lies across the infamous a77...

echos winter's emptiness no more
yesterday he brought them
the new born and their lactating mamas
fresh from the warm birthing byre

and mother nature chuckled ...
the breeze grew chill and clouds rolled
eager over that sunlit landscape
the drifting showers uncomfortable and cold

today, the chill green field lies vacant
the lambs and their lactating mamas
returned to the home farm warmth
the precious newborn too tender to survive

the open fields and gloating winds
which terminate my spring thought glee
the birds still trill their summer chorus
soon ... perhaps ... the sun will shine

All written materials Copyright © 2004-2009 by Eryll Oellermann

to lurk or not to lurk

2009-02-24T09:30:00.002Z

nine o'clock this morning and i was lurking in my door way. why was i lurking?

well ... i never get dressed before i shower. i never shower in cold or even luke warm water.

my hot water comes via the same amazing, energy saving, underground heating source as does my heating.
for some reason this very green, supposedly energy saving, underground heating source ... whilst working most efficiently (if left running at all times) uses an incredible amount of electricity to actually pump previously mentioned hot water into my home.

result ... unless i need a shower or i am in danger of freezing to death ...
i switch the whole damn system off.
when i wake up of a morning, i switch the pump back on and voila! two or three hours later i have hot water. if i wake up late, my life is delayed!
my neighbours are up and about.
now i am really very fond of my mulberry coloured pyjamas, with the cute penguins in snow hats and snow flakes falling, but ...

quite frankly, i have seen one of my neighbours scrubbing her front step at six thirty in the morning! the scots are a hard working folk. i have no real need for my pyjama clad self to be seen, unwashed and unkempt, smoking on my verandah at nine o'clock in the morning.
so ... i lurk!