bye bye baby

my beloved muninn goes home to her breeders on sunday. they will rehome her. i am heartbroken but it is my
decision. i made a mistake, i underestimated the difference the passing years had made to my physical
strength. i also underestimated the size muninn would reach and the sheer energy and muscle power of a young
bullie of her size.

we have been together three months now and over that time i have gradually come to the understanding
that i was not the best person for muninn to live with and that i... would possibly expire before my
alloted time ... from pure exhaustion.

so, i have been dealing with misery and guilt and the need to make a decision.

i was forced to make a decision when ms muni slipped her leash, escaped the back garden through an
open door into the offices. accompanied by the panic stricken trills of the office workers,
she was about to dash out of the front door and into the outside world, with absolutely nothing
between one over excited young bullie and the notorious a77. luckily my friend j grabbed hold of her.
she has her own bullie and understands that they are not as scary as they look!
i felt such fear, i thought my heart would seize!

it was decision time, no more impossible plans to find a house with a garden in my price range ... ha,
bloody ha ... as if that was ever more than a dream!
so i contacted her breeders, who of course have first refusal. they understood my dilemma and will meet
me on sunday, halfway between london and ballantrae. saves me a REALLY long drive and i am most grateful.
i trust them completely and i know they will take their time and find a wonderful new home for my girl. in
the meantime she will be home with her doggy family and the human children she so adores.

so, at the moment, i have a huge lump in my throat at the thought of her leaving. a small dose of guilt
as i feel i should have woken up and smelled the coffee ... before i brought her home.
at the same time, i feel almost a sense of relief, as week by week it was becoming harder for me to cope!

bye bye baby ...