sunrise

i watched the sun rise this morning, from the first faint
pinkish glow until my eyes burned.
the trees still stand stark and leafless, silhouetted against
the sky. from a distance winter architecture dominates, a
closer look reveals budding and bursting. new life
in abundance.

this year i will turn sixty two. sixty was a big deal for me!
one can hardly deny one's mortality when offered a free bus
pass!

i am an eternal child, steeped in the wonders of what if
and why? impatience and impulsiveness are my guides.
the careful remind me that we are not all the same, that it is
far more adult to consider, calculate and research one's life
options before diving in at the deep end.
i have named my new second hand car prudence, as for the
rest of my slightly wayward existence ...
each day is an another chance to breathe deep the wonders of life.
to experience the outcome of impulse - good, bad or
indifferent.

perhaps my life attitude was affected by my tango with cancer
at the tender age of forty six. the cancer was a shock, the
chemo shook me to my very core. at that time, in my certain
knowledge, people who had to endure chemo usually died.
a glass barrier fell into place, i lived in a muffled world of
my own, able to look out but separated from the still healthy
by the shocking knowledge of my own mortality.

time becomes wealth, denying any experience - a wasted
possibility, a small death. through anticipated loss i learned
the value of living.

today i am healthy, my body strong and reliable.i live in the
world and hear the familiar hum of our humanity.
time heals but i am changed. for me, each breath is a gift,
no moment should be wasted, tomorrow is no longer inevitable.