seven long years

manfred walter oellermann 10/11/1941 -06/10/2002

does your magnificent energy now explore the spirals of history
and future, are your questions answered and new mysteries found?
i miss the calm of your balance, the tenderness of your caring,
the stimulation of your mind. i miss you!
until we meet again ...


remembered

tonight, cold night
scarf wound, collar turned up
shoulders hunched against the chill
the night country clear

stars bright against the black sky
head tipped back,eyes drawn
to heaven's artwork
and i remembered you

i remembered summer nights
creeping, suffocating heat
i felt again the warmth of bricks
where we would sit to catch the cool

i remembered an african sky
your arm lifted,embracing the firmament
showing, teaching, sharing
your amazement at the wonder of the stars

seven long years of separation
and i have learned to live without you
the ache of missing, less probing perhaps
until the act of memory brings you to my side

in my mind i lie star gazing
my head at rest in your lap
my heart at peace in your company
in the seeping summer heat

the night chill bites
memory fades into reality's background
my eyes alone follow these stars
i inhabit a world without you

Copyright © 2009 by Eryll Oellermann

fair warning

come wednesday - i' m leaving on a jet plane.

new york, new york ... bagels for breakfast, new york pizza and affordable jack daniels!

i'll be gone about three weeks and probably won't find much time for blogging.

should anything spectacularly exciting happen ... i will of course keep you informed ;-)

scotch mist

the village where i hang my hat










i wear glasses. without them the world is a blur. warning for
the innocent ... there is a wee drug called tamoxifen! 'they'
use it for estrogen affected breast cancers, it has some really
nasty side effects. my oncologist at the time, a man of great
arrogance, did not bother to inform me of any of the possible
consequences before i took the meds.
when i complained that my formerly great eyesight
was deteriorating at a rate of knots...
he said...
"hmmmm, well, that does sometimes happen, usually only in
older people.!
needless to say at the time i was mad as a snake. fortunately
life goes on, we adapt or die.

damn, every time i say adapt or die, i remember p w botha
(prime minister (1978–84) and first state president (1984–89)
of South Africa) haranguing us vote carrying white south
africans. his 'crossing the rubicon' speech i think the
press called it. i don't remember the actual speech, just p w
glowering,stabbing his finger at the camera and instructing us
to 'adapt or die'. yeah, yeah, i know, but, south african politicians
tended to be extremely paternalistic in the bad old days ...





yes people! you may well mutter ...
"that reef is starting to write like a history lesson!)
it happens, if you live long enough ...
one day you wake up and realise ...
"omg! i was alive in the olden days."

what was the point of this story anyway?
ah yes...

yesterday, i went for an early morning walk - it does happen!
the day was ... damp, scotch mist seeping through the village,
dampening sound. now scotch mist, whilst not exactly being rain,
is still quite wet. it wraps you in a mini cloak of cloud. my
glasses don't have windscreen wipers, so ...
i took them off.
without my glasses my world is a monet like blur. still
beautiful, definitely lacking definition. i send up a small
prayer that i will not snob friendly fellow villagers due to my
inability to focus!

at the south end of the village, between the shaley shore and
the "king's arms farm" is a large pond. said pond is home
to three beautiful swans and one lonely (?) heron.
i have not seen the heron for many weeks, i though he/she might
have left for warmer climes.
yesterday, even without my glasses ...

the heron was back.

just because

i love me some celtic woman!
why not?

celtic woman

when you least expect ...

i wasn't looking for it.

it was one of those grey scottish days when the wind slices
like a knife.
an ... omg, it's too cold to breath kind of day, a day when
sensible people stay home and dream of spain and sunshine.
leaving the daft few to fight their way along the sea front,
buffeted from every direction by angry, ice cold air.

i had grabbed my old jacket from the cupboard at the bottom of
the stairs.
as i rounded the corner from the main street into shore road, i
thrust my cold hands deep into my pockets in search of
protection from the wandering tendrils of the icy blast.

and there it was.

right at the bottom of a deep pocket, in with the fluff and
beach sand and a forgotten piece of gum. rattling around with
a couple of loose pennies and a once, beautiful when wet, pebble.
what can i say ... i was surprised.
after all, it would not have been the first place i expected
to find such a treasure.

never a dull moment

thursday evening ...
i heard it on the grapevine or in more modern day speak ...
facebook!
"you left a light on!" ...
old news, i am a south african, i always leave a light on."

"you have a leak, the water is dripping
through the ceiling downstairs."
ok, that one got my attention.
phoned my landlady...
in her usual efficient manner she had the situation under
control, burst pipe in bathroom, no damage to my place,
slight damage to ceiling downstairs. water mains turned off,
plumber on order.

i was due to return home on saturday but due to an overactive
imagination, i decided to push that forward by a day. it is
kind of difficult to relax whilst imagining unknown plumbers
trundling through my home.

i arrived home to find my front door open, signs of work ...
strange pieces of pipe lying around in the bathroom.
a distinct lack of water in the cistern, but, no plumber.

everybody relax! this is ayrshire not africa! open front doors
are okay, strange plumbers alone in your home are okay.
i phoned my efficient landlady to report in. no problems,
repair work in progress, plumber just off to stranraer for spare
parts.

friday evening, plumbing problem resolved, the weekend ahead,
a glass of ice with other additions ...
cheers!

midwives and measurements

funny thing, the older i grow the more i love to hold
a new born baby.
so new, there is still a touch of heaven about them.
eyes not quite ready to see the physical world, ears
that will hear a whisper. tiny, tiny hands already
more than capable of finding the rose bud mouth.

since monday i have been staying with the kids and
baby daniel. would you argue if i told you he was the
most beautiful child in the world. that at four days old
his genius is already obvious!

thursday - 24th
today was heel prick day ... please note - heel prick,
not friggin' heel pricks! our poor baby, the indignity of it,
ouch, ouch, ouch. it was also weigh daniel day and m has
done a stirling job with the breast feeding, our young prince
has gained weight, an increase from 2.64kg to 2.67kg after only
five days since birth...
yay, for super mom!

i must add that i am totally impressed with the nhs scotland.
wow, a midwife visits every other day to help and encourage
the new mom and check that baby is doing well. and... all
without charge,such a civilised country

tomorrow i am off to saltcoats for the day, joshua, my
eldest grandchild turns thirteen. i can't believe
how time flies, it feels like only yesterday i would lift and
grasp him under my arm and carry him off whilst he kicked and
screamed in a raging tantrum. now he is in high school,
looking sharp in his blazer and tie and learning to play the sax!
josh is autistic, these days he is classified as a high functioning autistic,
back in the day, well....
that is another whole blog!