time to share

10th november ...the mann would have turned 66 today. manfred died just over a month before his 61st birthday. during the last months of his life our local hospice were assisting us and when the mann started to lose the use of his legs (very frustrating for action mann)they suggested he keep a memory/thought book.
i found the note book after he died, he wrote what he wrote in the month before his death.these words are one of my most precious gifts, his thoughts, his final message of love to the people in his life.
the mann was a modern day hero, he never gave up. he endured terrible pain and remained unfailingly cheerful. always a smile, a joke, a thumbs up! he never...not once...whined or bitched or said "why me?".
manfred died at home, holding tight to my hand ... just the way he wanted ...

thought/memory box

Manfred Walter Oellermann

Thursday 12/09/02
South Africa needs an enema.

Monday 16/09/02
I don't like branded religion. Why must I subscribe to any one particular slant/view that happened to suit someone at some stage in history. I would rather look out for/listen and find the relevant/meaningful stuff of life through experience with those close to me and my own devices.

Friday 20/09/02
Listen to the messages of life, they are all around us. Sometimes at high volume. The answers are there - we must just open ourselves up to them.

Saturday 21/09/02
Remember everything happens for a purpose, often this is not clear to us. Could it be that we cannot always see the whole picture? The size picture that we see is probably proportionate to our relevant size in the greater scheme of things - smaller than a speck of dust.

Sunday 22/09/02
Moenie paniek - alles sal rectum! (again and again and again!) Re-channel your panic into something useful that will give you the solution you seek. To do this you have to first relax so that you can recognize the object of your panic - then deal with it in a logical way. You have to practice this - sometimes the panic was actually a waste of time and should not have existed. The trick is to actually have a look behind your back and elsewhere before anyone realizes it was there in the first place and get rid of it.

Tuesday 24/09/02
Few people can be happy unless they hate some other person, nation or creed.This is why so often we can become perplexed by "why is there a problem". Take Ireland and all the people that have died there in the name (apparently) of religion. Why? - same God! If he is the God of love then why are we allowing this to happen. But this is not new - go back as far as you like in almost any direction - the inquisition - horrific torture and death in the name of religion, Christianity etc, etc.
Racism - nothing new here. this will be here forever. Are we not going about this the wrong way? This is how we are - we are all racists. Rather than try to change what is a basic part of each and every person and to deny what we are - we should embrace our differences and deal with how we can love and live together in harmony, despite the differences. Accept it as part of life and not sweep it under the carpet, thereby denying a part of ourselves that will always be there.
Deal with the differences, Focus on what we have in common, treat no one group differently to the next. Tall order! - but a road we need to travel. Concentrate on issues that promote nationhood - NOT the changing of street and place names - what does this achieve - except some selfish urges of vested interest groups. Achieving only more hate, animosity etc, etc.

Wednesday 25/09/02
A gift much greater than life.
This is the gift of a soul mate. The understanding that exists between two souls, unwritten, unexplained, yet so deep and often uncannily unexplainable and accurate, it can leave you breathless. Love that is automatically there and can be counted and relied upon, unconditionally, day after day.
The love for my soul mate is without question - sometimes, most times words are not necessary. We know each others' thoughts, likes and dislikes - when something is appropriate or not.
It is a truly magical thing.

25/09/02
What is love?
My perception of what love is has changed dramatically over a long period of time.
From a sort of selfish "give me some and I'll give you some" variety, or a "what's in it for me" type to the other real kind. Of course there is romantic love, love for family, earning "brownie points" love etc etc. Then there is the kind that's different. Hard to put your finger on - like that for a soul mate - it's there before you know it exists - no questions asked, unconditional, compassionate, giving not expecting anything back. At the end of the day love is what it is all about - because after all - what is here for us on this planet? Nothing but dusty stuff. Take love away - what is left? I can do without it, so can you. No soul mate, no family, no love - who needs stuff? Cars, houses, things - meaningless.