Saturday, 29 December 2007
the stuff of nightmares
last night, i dreamed a dream.
a band, a very famous band, (sorry, their name was lost in my waking up process) were to have a reunion concert. a once off, last ever reunion concert.
manfred was to play with them. at the last minute their lead guitarist fell ill and they desperately needed a replacement. my mann suggested me, they listened to me play (must admit, i was brilliant ;-)) and decided i would do. i felt honoured but kind of nervous and admitted i would love to play but unfortunately...i had no guitar.
the very famous lead singer...whose name i can't remember...maybe freddie mercury...as i was totally in awe!...
brought out his very expensive, very wonderful orange guitar and said...
"not to worry, you can use mine."
the day of the concert arrives and i am pissing around, wasting time...as one does in dreams...trying to decide what to wear etc etc. eventually we arrive at the stadium ten minutes before the band is due to start their performance.
and guess what... i have left the effin' famous, precious, very valuable guitar behind at home!
so...i have to tell this very famous leader of this very famous band... not too worried, they will doubtless have a spare guitar somewhere.
but no, they don't! i must set off in search of a worthy instrument to play.
i meet a guy who is totally impressed that i am to play this concert.he tells me his mother owns a guitar shop in a nearbye mall...he calls her and repeats the whole sorry saga. not a problem she will open the shop for me.
we arrive at the shop and she has the guitar ready for me...obviously the 'piece de resistance' of her stock.
omg! what an ugly instrument, it had these long, thin, brass extensions, which grew out of the body of the guitar. but... beggars can't be choosers...so i said
"ok that will be fine...i'll be sure to mention your kindness and the name of your business to the crowd."
business owner says...
"that will be 25000 pounds."
"huh! thought you were going to lend it to me"
unfortunately i do not have 25000 pounds, not even to save the last ever concert of this ever so famous band!
i leave the shop and start to make my way back to the stadium, it is already ten minutes past our starting time. i hear music and the crowd screaming. the band are playing, they have found a replacement guitarist, with a guitar. the last ever concert continues without me...
i have lost my chance at immortality!
i awake...heart racing, dripping from a night sweat.
by the by...whilst i excel at 'air guitar"...
my guitar playing abilities, well...
i can play the first few notes of 'peter gunn'...
i mean...who can't...
Posted by reeflightning at 10:40